Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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