G:nock nock B:come in!

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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There once was this guy and he fell down

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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What happened to the boy who wnt through puberty? He bacame a man. There is nothing funny about a perfectly normal expirience that everyone goes through wether they like it or not.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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What's black and white and red all over? A plague victim.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops