A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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This isn't funny.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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