What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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