-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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I'm funny.

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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