what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Knock knock

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How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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thumbs up!

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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