A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Asian NASCAR.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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Arrow to the Knee

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops