Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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