when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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Yo mama is so fat she has a gym membership and a diet plan to lose weight

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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