Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

Jersey Shore.

Title IX

What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

why is cancer a big thing because its bad

George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

Dan walked into a jelly fish

Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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