Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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copy me and i will kill you

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

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hi

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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who's a slut... you're mom

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops