Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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