What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

you know whats better than lemonade? sex

Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

what is brown and sticky? a stick.

Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

What's worse than a broke pencil TWO broken pencilz

mitchell palmer sucks

How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

Women's rights.

What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

Cripples are lame.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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