A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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Women

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Feminism.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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