A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Manchester City

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whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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