what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

Why was Little Bobby sad? He just superglued Uranus to his forehead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

Jesus Christ

a black man did not eat chicken.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...