Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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