the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops