Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Wumbo

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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