What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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Whats 9+10? 19

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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