How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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A man walks into a bar

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

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~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Check out page 4016 :)

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops