Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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A bear goes to target, soon after animal control came and put it in a nearby zoo

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

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Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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