What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

A women in the kitchen.

A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

Barack Obama

A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

Will nearis is here! Get it

What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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