I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

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more like nig!

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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