What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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10inch nice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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