What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

thumb_up thumb_down +3

3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops