Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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