How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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