roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

I had friends on the Death Star.

Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

How old is your mom Dead

There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

Church.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

KONY 2012

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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