What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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a white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy all jump off a building. they all immediately die on impact, later on the news white guy jumps off building.

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a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

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Whats worse than Justin Bieber's love life. My ass crack.

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What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

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yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

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Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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