when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Take wrong turns

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops