A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

Just Replying to Brock Facebook request Brock you should know by now that i am at your school talk to me there. Plus i loved the kiss you gave me in science. Now that tested my chemistry. Hehe. Emma Brown xOxOxOxXXXXXoOOOOO

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

i am a dino. RAWR.

Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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