Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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yada yada

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All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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CHORGLUND

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops