What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Women's rights.

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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