What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

what do you call a jew hanging from a tree? dead

Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

its funny cuz i laughed!

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

A sober Irish individual.

Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

What did death say to life? Go die

How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

The chicken crossed the road.

why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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