A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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