What's big and long? My dick.

A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

a white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy all jump off a building. they all immediately die on impact, later on the news white guy jumps off building.

How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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