If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Of course, first door on your left

thumb_up thumb_down +26

3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

thumb_up thumb_down +24

(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your existance.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Guess what? AIDS!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops