How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

Dance is a sport

whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

Knock Knock *opens the door*

i lyk 2 eet pup

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

Asians.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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