a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

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NEVER

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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