Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

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Whats better than 24? 25.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

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Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

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Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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School

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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