What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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