knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

Killing your friend as a joke.

Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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