How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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Vicky is my best friend.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

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Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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