How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

Really? Okay! UPPER COMMENT GOOD NIGHT NEROCHAN!

One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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