Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms Why did the boy drop his ice cream Because he was hit by a truck. and geuss who was driving the truck? The girl with no arms

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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John Stamos.

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Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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