A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why? Whats wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops