Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Gianni

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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Moral Man Solid V: The Pain Phantom.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

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How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops