Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

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brainfart

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

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Cleveland winning something

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She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops