"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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How did the girl die? 25.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops