What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

thumb_up thumb_down +48

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Woman's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Twenty-Four

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yes!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops