roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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25

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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No.

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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Poem Of Love: Each time i see you i feel like i need you and i love you.. i hope you became my girl and live with me cause without you i can't live.

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

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Iggy Azalea

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Well educated black man.

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Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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